Constellation Blues

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a shadow following humanity
in the shape of a willow
small leaves drip off
jagged edges slice the headstones.

the past breathes:
branches reach in all directions.
written in DNA, the seam on the heart
pulls apart the immortal stars.

too cold and the crickets quieted
the shadow skirts the edges
of a soul looking to be whole
from a war: never changes.

-Marlena Myles
War: Never Changes.

Ernests Gulbis

Ernests Gulbis

A Working Memory

Dying to share his thoughts, he would call in the middle of the night.  Reading to me an essay or speech, I was amused by his mind’s eagerness to share its delighted news.

Yet, he never remembered anything I said.

Even worse, he never remembered he already excitedly told me his thoughts.  Again and again, the same life-changing essays.

I’m one of those people who can never allow others finish what they’re saying without interrupting, but I somehow never had the heart to interrupt his passionate phone calls to say, “I’ve been thoroughly informed of those thoughts… By you”~

Let you go, little butterfly.

Happy journeys on your migration. I’ll keep growing flowers, to find another butterfly that doesn’t keep looking backwards at the smoldering ashes of what once was.

Go on, move forward, little butterfly.

“Let me tell you a little story about mirrors. When you look into a mirror, every reflected action comes from one source — you. That person you see looking back at you will treat you exactly how you treat him. If you smile, or wave, or laugh, the reflection reacts with appropriate good cheer. Make angry faces or scream, and you quickly find yourself the subject of every barb and indignity you’re trying to heap upon the shoulders of another. If you find yourself bristling under the scorn, the contempt, the lack of respect, don’t blame the mirror. All it’s reflecting is you.”

– Chris Kluwe
Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies.

Thoughts on Mozart & his Fantasia

Today is Mozart’s birthday and I feel compelled to write something about one of his more mysterious pieces in my opinion, the Fantasia in D minor for piano.

Karl Barth says:

“Mozart’s music is free of all exaggeration, of all sharp breaks and contradictions. The sun shines but does not blind, does not burn or consume. Heaven arches over the earth, but it does not weigh it down, it does not crush or devour it. Hence earth remains earth, with no need to support itself in a titanic revolt against heaven. Granted, darkness, chaos, death and hell do appear, but not for a moment are they allowed to prevail. Knowing all, Mozart creates music from a mysterious center, and so knows the limits to the right and the left, above and below. He maintains moderation.”

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Suicide and the Dream of a Ridiculous Man

“The consciousness of life is higher than life, the knowledge of happiness is higher than happiness”—that is what we have to fight against! And I shall, I shall fight against it! If only we all wanted it, everything could be arranged immediately.”

From The Dream of a Ridiculous Man by Fyodor Dostoevsky

I stumbled upon an audiobook version of this short essay by Dostoevsky purely by chance. Seeing the title alone and being a fan of his other works, I couldn’t resist. I’ve always thought that when you’re ready for answers to your own personal questions, you’ll find them in literature, always by chance. True gems!

Anyway, to the story: essentially the Ridiculous Man has always known he was a “madman” and was laughed at by his peers. Growing older and making his way through his studies, he realizes the more knowledge he gains, the more he is consciously aware of his predicament:

Dostoevsky writes:
“I suddenly felt that it made no difference to me whether the world existed or whether nothing existed anywhere at all. I began to be acutely conscious that nothing existed in my own lifetime. At first I couldn’t help feeling that at any rate in the past many things had existed; but later on I came to the conclusion that there had not been anything even in the past, but that for some reason it had merely seemed to have been. Little by little I became convinced that there would be nothing in the future, either. It was then that I suddenly ceased to be angry with people and almost stopped noticing them.”

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Classical Music and Why Money Matters

Time and time again, someone will write an article about classical music being dead or dying. My own article on the subject will be because I think it’s due to money and affordability.

Somewhere along the lines, something as simple as no one owning a piano has made classical music inaccessible to people. And compare music such as Mozart and Chopin on the technical abilities of the performer to have, and I think… classical music becoming virtuoso over the genres has induced the decline of musical abilities in people; or at least the requirement of years of training to be able to perform those pieces has increased to the point that it’s an unreasonable expectation.

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constellation blues

“Au milieu de l’hiver, j’ai découvert en moi un invincible été”

– Albert Camus
November 7, 1913 ~ January 4, 1960

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